Assalamualaikum dear my readers,
It's already 3 a.m but I couldn't sleep. Just don't know why. Thinking out of my feeling. Should I follow his flow or start to give up and move on? Godd. I'm really confuse right now. It's hard to decide. Well for those that still can't understand what happened on me lately, here I shorten the story.
Just imagine, you have a close friend. Well for me I though he as my brother at the beggining of our friendship. Huhh. Get know with him already 6 years! ~ Oh my I'm just realised on how long our friendship until now. Yet, I like him. But never tell him my feeling towards him. Just keep deeply in my heart.
To be more detail about him, I could say that he is special for me. Yeahh I don't know how far he make me special, but both of us admitted that we're really close. Even though we not meet for 3 years. Haha. Sounds like "how can we said close while we not meet already 3 years?" I don't have the answer. After I graduated from matriculation, we started to get close AGAIN. No. Not me actually but he started it first.
Lately, we're really close. Chatting each other. And he still with his attitude to make me as a good listener to all of his problem, even it is private thing I guess. We shared our secret together until once time.... I accidently confessed my feeling toward him.. oh myyy just can't stop feel shame till right now. Hurmm. Well, he told me to move on. But, am I can move on while he get closer with me? :( And yeahh he said "ada jodoh kita kawin". If not??? Haha. It's not our destiny maybe. Plus, now he can't open his heart for another woman include me just because heartbrokened with his ex. I'm already late to confess! Huhuuuhu. But it's true, I agree with his decision because I already promise to myself that I will not get trouble in love trap again.
I though it was over but then he comes again. Treat me like we had really special relationship enough. But the fact we're nothing than a friendship bond. And now, what I am feel hard is to let him go. I like his treat, but until when?? It's a fake relationship being pretend sweet talker each other. I'm just tired to treat our relationship like this. And I think that, I am not should to have this feeling towards him. I want to protect our relationship as a close friend or maybe people said "Teman Tapi Mesra". Platonic love sometimes make you hurt to realise it. Really it's hurt me. Fake hope.Huhhh. Just please leave me and the fake hope. Help me to move on from you. Could you please read thisss ! Just give me some space to let go this feeling. Please. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. :'( After I already forget all the fake hope, I promise that we can close again like today. I'm just need time.